Do you ever hold yourself back from trying something new?

Kristian’s transformational journey started with a big disappointment. At the end of his time at university, he was faced with not getting the results and grades he had wanted. He shares how he’d always been able to get good grades for most of his school years without working too hard. But when faced with a law degree, he had not managed to pull of the results he would have liked.

This is when his transformational learning journey truly began: at the end of his formal, traditional education. Looking back on his grades and his time, he can see what happened when he wasn’t allowing himself to learn what he was doing wrong – when he didn’t accept the feedback he was getting before and realise he had to change something, and in fact, become better at learning.

It’s a humbling but powerful way to start a transformation, realising you don’t just need to learn the technical or traditional skills better, but learn how you react to not performing – especially when you’re used to doing so.

When it comes to business, Kristian says the ability to learn every day can be a real force multiplier. When you really let in feedback and allow yourself to be in a place of learning and curiosity – you have the ability to bring in everyone’s expertise and get the best from everyone.

He shares a story as recent as from this year – when him and I started working together alongside the rest of my team. The first piece of work he sent ahead of presenting did not get the response he hoped for – it wasn’t great, it was missing something.

I think we can all relate to that “argh!” moment Kristian has. Where we feel like we’ve messed up, that maybe we’re not good enough. But Step Six is really about what we do with that feeling and what comes after – how, instead of avoiding, as Kristian had done during university, how can we learn and grow from this.

What’s powerful is how Kristian steps past the challenge of that moment, and uses it as an opportunity to grow and co-create. Giving the project another look, working together to draw on both sides’ expertise and experience to combine the work into something that is far more powerful than would’ve been if either one worked alone.

“It wasn’t just the challenge I needed to take on in terms of learning more myself and doing that in the background, it was seeing the challenge of not having delivered something good enough and making that into the opportunity for learning more to create something that was far better than where it had started”

Having seen this engagement and collaboration unfold myself, I also reflect on how it’s not only the product that becomes better by allowing feedback and learning from others, it’s also the relationship and partnership that grows. By both of them accepting that the product wasn’t good enough and seeing it as an opportunity to create something great from it!
Kristian also shares an important truth – that feedback works both ways:

“Feedback in that regard is two ways. You have to ask for it and be willing to accept it – but you also have to be willing to give it, and give it honestly, for it to actually work.”

For those entering the journey of transformation and trying to practice Step Six, Kristian shares his warm advice that we need to be willing to listen deeply to learn, and we’ll only do so when we let it in by taking down our defences:

“Lower your shoulders. Accept you don’t necessarily have all the answers, pull in the expertise and recognize there’s plenty to learn from everyone – from good or bad situations”

He reminds us that those that are giving us feedback – colleagues, family and friends – are our partners and co-creators that are trying to pull us up, not put us down. When we come with the understanding that they are trying to help improve the output and results, then we are much better able to lower our shoulders to really listen and learn what needs to be learnt.

It’s not that every piece of feedback is right, but if we listen to it instead of putting up our defences, we open up for learning far more from it.

How will you welcome and share feedback to create a space of learning?

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